


Keep Your Friends Close, and Your Enemies On the Guest List

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Basketball, M/M, basically they're rivals on the basketball team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:16:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8103889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tyler and Josh have hated each other from a very young age, but as they go through school they experience new things and develop new feelings. Neither of them are quite sure where those feelings came from, or how these things work, but they're gonna try to figure it out. Together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello this fic is going to be an expansion of my one shot “Keep Your Head in the Game” which you can find right before this as i’ve put them together in a series! if you read that first this will make a bit more sense. happy reading :-)

_Tyler wasn't one to throw around the word hate, he was raised better than that. But hate was truly the only word he could possibly use to describe his feelings towards the kid he met on the first day of basketball._

_The two first met at the elementary school basketball team’s first practice in the 3rd grade. Tyler had been training to play basketball since he could walk and his tiny hands could hold the ball. His parents assured him that he was going to be the star of the team, excelling above all the other drooly little brats just forced to play because their parents signed them up. Tyler was there to win, and always had his eye on the prize._

_The coach started by teaching them the basics, simple passing drills and what not. It was all stuff Tyler already knew of course, but he couldn't show off yet. So he pretended to not understand rebounds and messed up on a few drills, just a few basic mistakes he could easily correct later when it was time to shine._

_"You're supposed to be doing a bounce pass. That means the ball is supposed to bounce," someone with a know-it-all tone spoke up from behind him. Tyler's head immediately snapped to the stranger, scowl plastering on his face._

_"Excuse me?" he responded, sass tinting his voice._

_"You're... you're not bouncing..." the dark haired boy responded with a slight shrug. "Coach said to do bounce passes."_

_Tyler stepped away from his partner for a moment, sticking his basketball under his arm._

_"I don't need to practice bounce passes," Tyler shot back. "Me and my partner both actually have them down, so I decided to help Mark practice catching air passes," he explained. He couldn't believe this kid had the nerve to try and tell Tyler freaking Joseph how to pass a basketball. The other kid just shrugged._

_"All I'm saying is that's not what coach said to do," he responded, turning back to his own partner._

* * *

 

Tyler’s blood was still boiling by the time he got home from practice that night. That’s right, little eight year old Tyler Joseph had gotten so worked up by that other bratty kid at practice he was full on angry. And it took a lot to get Tyler angry. Okay well... that wasn't entirely true. He could get angry with the flip of a switch. He wasn’t a mean kid by any stretch of the imagination, but he did have problems being short tempered. And something about the way that kid told him what to do.... it was like a switch flipped in him. He. Hated. That. Kid. And his short temperedness along with his stubbornness just wasn't a good combination.

His father was assistant coach of the team, and the moment Tyler got home that night he threw his bag aside and ran up to his father’s office. Mr. Joseph didn’t even question it, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Tyler was up to.

Tyler immediately went to the desk drawer where his father kept all the basketball paperwork and dug out the roster that would be handed out to parents at their first game. Once his determined little hands finally had the paper booklet in grasp he flipped to the line up page, scanning through and trying to find the face of the punk who had the nerve of trying to tell him what to do. His eyes followed his index finger as it ran over the page and the tiny images of each of his teammates. Then he found the one. The picture of a small pale skinned boy with dark hair and even darker eyes. Tyler read the name under the image, not even realizing how much that name would change his life forever.

Joshua Dun.

That night at the dinner table his mother could sense something was off. She expected that after his first practice Tyler would be beaming, wanting to share every small detail of the drills and whatnot. But no, Tyler just sat there silent, slight scowl plastered on his face, poking at the pile of pasta on his plate with his fork.

“Ty, honey, do you wanna tell us all about practice today?” she suggested, worried eyes trying to read over Tyler’s expression and figure out his thoughts. He shrugged a little bit.

“The other kids are annoying,” he grumbled under his breath with another slight shrug. He almost wanted to say that they were stupid, but he knew his mother probably wouldn’t have been thrilled with that word choice.

“He played great today,” his father spoke up, “But I think there’s another kid he might not be getting along with…” he admitted with a bit of a frown, having caught a part of Tyler and Josh’s little tiff out of the corner of his eye. “I think it was Laura’s kid?"

Tyler’s mother’s eye brows raised slightly in surprise.

“Josh? There’s no way, it must have been someone else. Josh is an absolute doll he would never-“ his mom began to speak, but she stopped herself when she saw that just the mention of his name seemed to make the anger rise up in Tyler again. “Oh honey,” she breathed, pushing herself away from the table to stand and go kiss Tyler’s forehead.

“You just must have started off on the wrong foot. I’ve met his mom a few times for coordinating some events for the team and met Josh as well. He seems great, and I bet if you try again you two would actually be good friends,” she suggested, hand coming up to comfortingly rub Tyler’s shoulder. Tyler shrugged away at the affection, standing up from his seat.

“May I be excused?” he asked calmly. If he had to go one more second listening to his mom talk about Joshua freaking Dun he thought he was going to implode. Seeing how upset he was, Mrs. Joseph sighed and nodded.

“Just come back downstairs by 7 to do your homework with Zack,”she murmured, pressing one last kiss to the top of Tyler’s head before letting him wander upstairs to his room.

* * *

 

Josh was having completely different feelings on the whole situation. In fact, he felt kind of bad he talked to Tyler the way he did. Josh had always been… bold. He came off rather rude most times and he didn’t even mean to, he really didn’t. He just… didn’t always have a filter.

When Josh got home his mom was just getting ready to start cooking dinner, so he made his way into the kitchen and took a seat on the stool by the counter.

“Hey sweetheart how was your first practice?” she asked cheerfully, pulling a few assorted vegetables out of the refrigerator. Josh shrugged a little.

“It was good… but I think Coach Chris’ son hates me,” he reflected casually, chewing on his bottom lip. His mother’s eyebrows immediately furrowed as she set down the pan she had just taken out, going to lean on the counter next to Josh.

“Hate you? And why would he possibly hate you?” she questioned. She of course knew how Josh could get sometimes, how he didn’t always think before he spoke and came off way too blunt for an eight year old at times. Josh gave another shrug, picking at his chewed fingernails.

“I um… I guess I didn’t say the right thing again,” he frowned. Josh hated when he accidentally let things slip out and it upset other people. He’d never ever say something to purposely hurt someone else’s feelings, and sometimes in times like this, it made him really sad knowing someone else was mad at him.

“Oh honey,” his mom breathed, heart arching a bit as she wrapped an arm around Josh’s shoulders. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose. I talked to Coach Chris’ wife the other day, and Tyler sounds really nice. She even suggested we get you two together for a play date. Would you like that?” she suggested. Josh perked up a bit at that, he’d like to have the opportunity to apologize and redeem himself.

“You think he’d forgive me? He seemed really upset,” Josh frowned again. He really wished he didn’t just spit out the first thoughts that came into his mind, wished he could control it better. Maybe he’d have more friends that way. His mom nodded with a small smile, pressing a kiss to Josh’s temple.

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t,” she assured him. If only she knew how stubborn little Tyler was...

“Come on,” she straightened up, going over to where she laid out the food she was going to prepare for dinner. “Wanna help me peel the carrots?"

* * *

Mrs. Dun got on the phone with Mrs. Joseph the moment Josh went to bed that night, immediately explaining what had happened.

“Oh the poor thing probably feels terrible,” Mrs. Joseph mumbled once she understood the situation. “It’s not all his fault, Tyler’s got quite the mouth on him and probably just shot something sassy right back,” they both chuckled for a moment at that. Eight year olds were strange little creatures.

“I think Saturday would be great. How about we meet at the park around 1:30?” Mrs. Dun suggested. Mrs. Joseph quickly scrambled for her planner, making a note so she wouldn’t forget.

“Sounds perfect! I’ll bring my notebook and we can discuss the bake sale while they play,” Mrs. Joseph agreed. The two mothers said their good byes and goodnight before turning themselves in for the night.

Two days later when Saturday morning arrived, Tyler’s mom dropped the hint that they’d be going to the park in the afternoon. Tyler loved the park so much, loved playing on the asphalt court so much more than the gymnasium (‘It’s cooler when I fall because then I can show everyone I skinned my knee’). He immediately got excited, eating his breakfast rather quickly that morning to get right to work on his typical weekend chores. He rambled on and on to Zack as they folded their laundry together that he was going to the park with mom and he was bring his new basketball and it was going to be so much fun and no you can’t come because mom just invited me and no one else so there. Mrs. Joseph neglected to mention that it was going to be a playdate with Josh...

Mrs. Dun on the other hand told Josh first thing in the morning that the playdate was official, and Josh was beyond thrilled. He practiced talking to himself all morning about what he as going to say to Tyler, really just wanting to have a new friend.

Around 1:15 both mothers were leading the two boys to their cars, making sure they were buckled in and driving to the park. Tyler’s mom always loved listened to her son sing at the top of his little lungs to every song that came on the radio, similarly to how Josh’s mom always found it amusing when he drummed out the rhythm to songs on the back of the passenger side seat.

The moment Mrs. Joseph put the car in park Tyler was flying out, running across the small parking area and to the fenced in basketball courts. At first he totally forgot he even brought his own ball, quickly running back to the car to retrieve it.

“Slow down there Ty, wait just one sec,” Mrs. Joseph chuckled, still just getting out of the car ad grabbing her purse herself. Tyler groaned a little bit, excitedly bouncing on the balls of his feet. Once she collected herself Tyler’s mom took his smaller hand into her own and walked him to the basketball courts, forcing him to keep a somewhat controlled pace.

Josh and his mom were already there, standing outside the gate leading to one of the basketball course.

“Are you sure he’s coming?” Josh asked anxiously for the 4th time, grabbing his mom’s wrist to look at her watch.

“It’s 1:25 Josh they have 5 more minutes,” she laughed lightly. She glanced up at the path and saw Mrs. Joseph and Tyler coming around the corner. Mrs. Dun gently nudged Josh’s shoulder and pointed in their direction.

Tyler didn’t see Josh at first, too busy rambling to his mom about some new trick shot he saw one of the high schoolers do the last time he went and watched their practice. But as they came closer to the courts Tyler excitedly looked towards the gate, face immediately falling. He stopped in his tracks briefly but his mother just sighed and tugged him along.

“Hey Laura!,” she called, giving a small wave with the hand that wasn’t holding onto Tyler’s. Josh’s mom waved back, silently encouraging her own son to go say hello.

“Nice to see you and Josh again,” Tyler’s mom added, pushing Tyler out in front of her a bit, and boy, was he one not happy camper.

Josh could sense that Tyler was still upset, but he really wanted to be the bigger person and make things right. He cleared his throat, holding out his right hand towards Tyler.

“Hi um… I think you know my name is Josh… but we never properly met so…. I’m Josh,” he spoke softly, looking over Tyler’s face with nervous eyes. Tyler narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Yeah, and you know I’m Tyler. Probably because you’re a know it all,” he shot back, ignoring Josh’s attempt at a hand shake. Both mothers’ mouths hung open slightly, and Josh’s face fell.

“Tyler!” his mom scolded, grabbing his arm so he could face her and crouching down a bit. “That was very rude of you! Josh is trying to be your friend and I want you to play nice.” she spoke sternly, standing up straight. “Mrs. Dun and I are going to go sit at that picnic table right over there and talk about some basketball fundraisers. You share your basketball and play with Josh, understand?"

Tyler tried to suppress a small eye roll and nodded, but was still looking at Josh with quite the intimidating glare. Josh’s mom quickly leaned down to kiss the top of his head before following Mrs. Joseph to the picnic table. As they walked away the boys could hear Mrs. Joseph gushing apologies for what Tyler had said. Mrs. Dun was a bit worried, but held onto the sliver of hope that things would work out if they let the children talk it out alone.

Once their mothers were done Tyler still ignored Josh, pushing open the gate to the basketball court and stepping inside.

“Hey um… can we just talk or something before we play,” Josh tried, following shortly behind Tyler onto the court. Tyler quickly turned to face Josh, eyes filled with anger.

“Just because my mom told your mom that I'm sorry, doesn’t mean I am sorry for saying that,” Tyler felt the need to clarify, dribbling his ball a few times. Josh clenched his fists, trying to suppress the hurt emotions waving through his body.

“Come on Tyler…” Josh tried again, voice sounding more broken than before. “I’m sorry about the first day of practice. I didn’t think before I said that and I shouldn’t have ever said anything to you about-"

“Yeah, you really should have kept your mouth shut,” Tyler interrupted. Josh took a small step back, even wincing slightly at the way Tyler’s words cut through him.

“Tyler-"

“Just give it up already jeez, I hate you and there’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind!” Tyler raised his voice, a burst of anger rushing over him. He didn’t even think about the consequences of his actions as he threw the ball he was holding right at Josh, aiming for his face. Josh flinched the second Tyler raised the ball and thankfully he crouched, which made him able to protect his face from the ball.

The mothers’ heard the commotion and looked over just in time to watch Tyler throw the ball at Josh, immediately running over and onto the courts. Josh had started crying, it didn’t hurt a lot but it also wasn’t like basketballs were made of feathers or anything. And part of him realized he was mostly crying just from the sheer hatred behind Tyler’s words. Josh’s mom crouched down beside him and instantly enveloped him in her arms as Tyler’s mom harshly grabbed at Tyler’s wrist, loudly scolding him.

Tyler’s mom erupted with a flood of apologies to Josh’s mom, who insisted Josh was okay and she’d call her on the phone later. Mrs. Dun picked up her still sobbing son and held him tightly as she exited the basketball courts, going back to their car. Once she was sure they were out of ear shot, Mrs. Joseph immediately turned back to Tyler.

“Tyler Robert Joseph I cannot believe you right now! Your father is going to be enraged when I tell him what just happened. You’ll be lucky if he lets you play basketball within the next month!” she scolded. She knew Tyler had problems controlling his temper and was extremely stubborn, but this was just absolutely too far. “Josh came here to apologize! What on earth is wrong with you?!"

Tyler avoided his mom’s enraged eyes, yanking his wrist away from her grasp and running off to get his basketball.

“You tricked me!” he cried. “You told me I could come to the park and play basketball and you tricked me! You didn’t tell me he’d be here!” he yelled back, tears welling in his eyes. He knew he was in big trouble. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help the way Josh had made him feel, couldn’t help his fiery personality that made it such a quick and easy decision to hate Josh. He couldn't help that his little eight year old mind was still too immature to properly process the situation and his easily frustrated state made it difficult for him to forgive. He just couldn’t help it. But none of what just happened changed how he felt toward the boy in any way.

He hated Josh.

Mrs. Dun sat in the backseat of her car for a moment, just holding and petting Josh. She let him cry and rubbed his back, kissing his forehead and wiping his tears every so often.

“Baby I’m so sorry,” she whispered into his hair. It of course wasn’t her fault that Tyler was short tempered, but she still felt bad that Josh got hurt, emotionally, and physically. Josh was still crying too much to talk, face buried in his mother’s shoulder and hands gripping her shirt.

He just wanted a friend. Just wanted to fix his mistake, and make a new friend. And look what he got as a result.

That day, something changed inside Josh. He felt something he had never truly felt before.

Hate.

He hated Tyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was so hard to write these two beans hating each other!!! 
> 
> find me on tumblr at lovejoshduns.tumblr.com
> 
> this one's for the wormler squad <3


	2. Chapter 2

 Tyler and Josh's hatred for each other over the years only grew. Thankfully they weren't in the same homeroom for the remainder of their grade school years and only had to worry about interaction during basketball. Tyler's father always made sure to keep a watchful eye out, never pairing them up for drills or putting them against each other during games. The looks and glares the two kids gave each other were bad enough, even the occasional comment under their breath. No one wanted to risk a fight breaking out. 

When middle school started, things drastically changed for the both of them. They each found new groups of friends and found their own little niches, for once focusing more on other friends than their petty rivalry. 

Josh started to become what would be considered a ‘punk’ stereotype. His wardrobe started to build up a collection of old band t-shirts he’d find at the thrift store, he on the hunt for new music at their local CD shop, and his mom even let him dye his hair for the very first time as a special gift for his 12th birthday in the 7th grade. He’d been begging her to let him for an entire year, so she finally gave in and got him a hair bleaching kit and an assortment of Manic Panic hair dyes. Josh had never been happier about a birthday present in his entire life. 7th grade was when Josh actually felt like he had a proper place in this crazy world, and was starting to discover who he really was.

Tyler on the other hand wasn’t as lucky. He felt quite the opposite actually, he felt like more of a misfit. As good as he was at basketball, he was by no means a jock. He didn’t feel right letting himself fall under that classification. He also didn’t really find that token group of friends like Josh had when middle school started. He did have friends he just… didn’t fit. 

He didn’t entirely mind it, he’d gotten quieter as he got older anyway. He’d normally spend his lunch periods alone eating at a table by himself quickly, then wandering out of the cafeteria and into the music room. He became fairly close with the music teacher since middle school had started, so she always welcomed Tyler to spend his lunch periods with her.

Tyler had expressed to her one day during his choir class that he was curious about learning the piano, and asked her what he should do to start learning. His teacher, Ms. Speck, actually had a few beginner piano books and gladly gave them to Tyler for him to borrow. From that day on Tyler went to the music room every single day during lunch and sat at the old worn upright piano, just letting his fingers become familiar with the keys.

It didn’t take long for Tyler to master the beginner level books, and Ms. Speck could tell that there was something special inside of Tyler. She started personally giving Tyler lessons during their lunch periods, and within a week, she could tell this kid was going places.

Then one day something happened that neither of them saw coming.

Tyler rushed into the music room the second the lunch bell rang, several crumpled papers in hand, flying past his teacher’s office and to the piano. He had an idea, an idea that he’d actually dreamed about the night before. He scribbled down as much of it as he could when he woke up but he was in a rush, scared he’d start to forget it.

Ms. Speck chuckled at how enthusiastic Tyler seemed, stepping out of her office and leaning on the doorframe, just wanting to watch to see what he was up to.

Tyler stretched his fingers out over the keys, mind racing on where to begin. He laid his wrinkled papers out on the stand and flattened them out as best he could, trying to play the song he heard last night in his sleep over in his head. 

He started out with a few different chords, face scrunching up when they didn’t sound quite right. When he found a progression he was satisfied with, he went with it and got into the flow of the song. 

_“I won’t take much of your time…”_ his voice was soft and raspy, almost unsure of his own words.

  _“I just want to see you…"_

Ms. Speck observed quietly as Tyler continued. Her heart swelled with emotion at the sight before her, Tyler’s voice so gentle as he sang each word carefully, occasionally needing to pause and go back to get the notes on the piano just right.

_“And I will ask, please…"_

Tyler let the sound of his voice dissipate into the air as he trailed off, sitting back for a moment and letting the room absorb the sound of the last few notes he’d played on the piano. He just sat there, almost like he couldn’t believe what he had just done.

Something suddenly dawned on him and he fumbled for a pen in his pocket, scribbling down his certainties onto the scraps of paper before him. 

“Oh Tyler…" Ms. Speck breathed, small smile playing on her lips. She knew the boy had been playing around, writing a few of his own little tunes but… she wiped a tear off her cheek quickly as she walked towards Tyler. He beamed up at her, still trying to comprehend that… that that thing he just played… that was something he _created_. His own hands just…. just did _that._

Tyler scooted over on the bench to make room so Ms. Speck could sit with him. For the rest of the period she helped him make sense of his chicken scratch notes, composing, rewriting, and organizing the lovely piece Tyler had already started. They lost track of time and Tyler was taken by surprise when the bell rang. He profusely thanked Ms. Speck as he scrambled to grab his things, and the teacher just chuckled and promised they’d continue tomorrow.

Tyler fled out of the music room and down the hall, not wanting to be late for his technology class which was on the other side of the building. He rounded a corner a bit too quickly, suddenly slamming right into a slightly taller figure. A slightly taller figure which happened to have flaming red hair...

The smaller of the two fell to the ground while Josh just stumbled a bit, and all of Tyler’s notes and sheet music dropped and scattered all over the ground.

“Watch where you’re going,” Josh spat, nothing but bitterness in his voice. Tyler was bright red, rushing to pick up the papers littered all over the ground. Josh’s friend who was walking with him snickered, stepping on one of the papers before Tyler could gather them all up. The other boy picked it up, eyes scanning over it quickly. His brows furrowed and he snorted, holding the page towards Josh.

“The hell is this?” the other boy scoffed, and Josh snatched he paper from his hands to examine for himself. Tyler was just getting himself together, standing and reaching out for the paper.

“Come on please,” Tyler begged, but Josh just took a step back as he kept studying the page. “Come on you’re just going to make us _all_ late,” Tyler practically pleaded, voice slightly broken.

Josh wasn’t believing what he was seeing. Was… was this sheet music? Hand written sheet music? Did… did Tyler write this? 

“Did you write this?” Josh vocalized this thought, genuinely curious. Tyler nodded shyly, still desperately reaching for the paper in Josh’s hands. Tyler couldn’t even read the look on Josh’s face, it looked like a combination of confusion and something else… something else more... sincere?

“What a nerd!” Josh’s friend hollered, just as the bell rang. Before Josh could react the page was ripped from his hands and crumpled into a ball by his friend, who then threw it as far as he could down the hallway. Josh shook his head a little bit, he didn’t feel like himself. Something felt off.

“Come on we’re gonna be late!” Josh's friend clapped him on the shoulder, giving him a playful shove as they pushed passed Tyler and moved on with their lives. Josh mumbled something in agreement about Tyler being a loser, sticking by his friend’s side as they ventured to their next period.

As Josh walked away, not daring to look back (even though there was a part of him that really hoped Tyler retrieved the paper and it wasn’t permanently damaged), he couldn’t stop the thoughts that barged their way into his head unwelcome.

Josh’s mind was racing as they entered their classroom. All that music Tyler had was hand written. Did Tyler write it all himself? He couldn’t have, they were in 7th grade for god's sake, what 12 year old wrote music? 

But Josh couldn’t shake the thought, couldn’t shake the curiosity. Josh had his own passion for music, but he was more of a listener and appreciator of it. Sure, playing percussion in the school band was fun, but he didn’t think he’d ever be able to actually _compose_  something. 

Josh had to snap out of it. They were sitting at their desks now, class was starting. He had to stop thinking about Tyler freaking Joseph. 

Once the other two were out of sight, Tyler let out a long breath. If his hands weren’t filled with the mess of now disorganized music, he would have hid his face in his hands and probably left it hidden forever. After a minute his gaze ventured down the hall to the crumbled ball of paper. Not moments ago he had been filled with joy and excitement over the thrill of writing a song… but now...

Tyler closed his eyes for a second and took in a deep breath, shaking his head a bit in self disappointment. He looked around the hall. No teachers were around, so hopefully he wouldn’t get into too much trouble for being late to class.

Tyler turned and walked in the opposite direction of the balled up sheet music at the end of the hall, deciding to take the long way to the technology lab.

 

* * *

 

On his way to his next class, a lone piece of garbage in the corner of the hallway caught Josh’s eye. When no one was looking he went over and picked it up, trying to turn his back to the few other students around him as he carefully uncrumpled it, gently smoothing it out. Some sort of emotion washed over him when he realized Tyler had just neglected the page.

Some sort of emotion Josh just couldn’t comprehend.

 

* * *

 

At the very end of the school day Tyler felt exhausted in more ways than one. He approached his locker slowly, each foot feeling like it weighed a million tons as he lifted them for each step he took. He just wanted to go home.

Tyler opened up his locker in search of his science textbook, when something fell out of it an dropped at his feet. His brows furrowed and he gently knelt down, examining the distressed paper.

It was his abandoned piece of sheet music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i didn't even plan on making this a part of the story i just started writing and this happened
> 
> thank u for the kind words and support it truly means the world knowing ppl are actually reading this lmao
> 
> find me on tumblr at lovejoshduns.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a warning theres some homophobic language and bullying in this chapter!!

Tyler discovered and labelled his sexuality at the age of 13.

He first knew he was different around the age of 7, far too young to be able to comprehend some of the thoughts he was having. He didn’t understand why every time boys talked about kissing girls it sounded simply displeasing to him. He didn’t understand why he looked at boys the same way most boys his age looked at girls. He didn’t understand why he thought boys were much prettier than girls. He just didn’t understand, and the world around him made it feel wrong for him to feel this way.

He struggled with these thoughts for many years, and it wasn’t until he got to middle school things started to make the tiniest bit of sense.

Tyler was in the 8th grade and had just turned 13 when his friend introduced him to Tumblr. He found the website very confusing at first and almost gave up on it, but within a few weeks he had a small bunch of followers and was frequently talking to a couple different mutuals, and before he knew it he was sucked in.

Some days during his free period he wouldn’t even go to the lunchroom, he’d just go straight to the library and curl up in a corner on one of the plush bean bag chairs, pulling out a random book to at least look occupied while really hiding his phone behind the pages. On one of those particular days, a post popped up when he refreshed his dash and the bolded title caught his eye:

**I like boys.**

‘Well…’ Tyler thought to himself, clicking the ‘read more’ link. They couldn’t have been anymore blunt with the title, but it certainly did the job of getting his attention. 

_Today I came out. Not to my parents. Not to my friends. To myself. I finally came to terms with my sexuality and the fact that I am gay, and let me tell you, I’ve never felt more relieved._

_Accepting that I was gay was harder than I expected. I thought I just wasn’t attracted to girls because I was some sort of freak of nature. My family’s religious beliefs have taught me that feeling an attraction towards the same sex was unnatural and I would go to hell for it._

  
_B_ _ut when I kissed a boy for the first time today, it felt nothing but natural._   


_There’s a point to this dumb post, I swear and I’m getting to it:_

_You know yourself better than anyone else. If you’re questioning your sexuality and something feels right or something else feels wrong, listen to what your mind has to say, it’s probably right. Because once you start to listen and accept it, I promise, you’ll become a much happier person._

Tyler felt a twinge in his chest. It wasn’t even a bad sort of twinge it was just… a twinge.

He felt something. It was such simple post with such a simple yet meaningful message, and it just...

Tyler had to reach up and quickly wipe a tear out of the corner of his eye. He connected to OP’s words on a whole other level. He never thought he’d see someone put his exact thoughts to words, but there they were, right on the phone screen in front of him.

That night when he got home he laid on his back in bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, just letting his mind wander. Maybe OP was right, maybe he should just listen to his mind. But what was his mind saying?

Right now his mind was saying that he certainly didn’t like girls. The idea of any sort of intimate contact with a girl almost grossed him out to some extent, he just couldn’t see it happening. But a boy on the other hand? He let his mind wander off a little further.

  
_Hands._ He thought about his hands first. His big warm hands that could hold his own and play with his fingers, trace shapes on his skin with their own fingertips when they needed to be occupied.  

  
_Lips._ He thought about his lips next. What would it feel like to have his lips against his own? His lips looked so soft, sometimes he caught himself staring at them by accident, focusing on their color and their shape, and the way his tongue would sometimes dart out to quickly swipe over them when he was unsure.

  
_Eyes._ His eyes were next. His deep, warm brown eyes that were so captivating Tyler just wanted to stare into them all day and--

That was when Tyler realized he wasn’t just thinking about boys in general.

He was thinking about a very specific boy.

He stopped himself right there, pushing away the uninvited thoughts and sitting up in bed. He quickly ran his hands over his face and shook his head a few times.

Now he needed to stop thinking. Now there was too much thinking. Now he didn’t want to think.

He got out of bed and grabbed one of his basketballs out of his closet, running downstairs and out the backdoor towards his basketball hoop on the side of the garage.

 

* * *

 

“Why can’t one of you assholes do it?” Josh sighed with a slight roll of his eyes. He was always up for pulling pranks on Tyler with his friends, but something about this one just seemed a little too far. Josh’s one friend, Marcus, scoffed.

“You’re kidding me right?” Marcus whispered back. The group of three friends (Kyle was with them as well) was sitting in the back of their math class, eyes wandering up every once in a while to stare at Tyler who sat in the front.

“Kyle and I can handle that fag on our own, we just figured you’d enjoy getting to mess with them too,” Marcus continued with a shrug. Something about the way Marcus talked made Josh feel like he swallowed window cleaner, it gave him a bad taste in his mouth and his throat burned.

Basketball season of their 8th grade year had just ended the week before, which meant that aside from the math class they were currently in and their history class, Josh and Tyler never even had to interact.

Josh wasn’t sure he wanted to change that.

“Okay okay fine I’ll write them,” Josh grumbled, tearing out a few pieces of paper from his notebook. “But that’s _all_  I’m doing. You guys do the rest of the dirty work,” he huffed, ripping the papers into smaller pieces.

“That’s all we needed you to do anyway dumb ass. He already knows me and Marcus' handwriting from the notes we throw at him during science,” Kyle chuckled. 

“What do I even write?” Josh questioned, pulling off his pen cap with his teeth and chewing on it a bit. The other two shrugged.

“The first 4 aren’t important, just make them really gay and sappy,” Marcus shrugged. “The last one is the only one that matters. We’ll tell you what to write for that,” he continued to explain. Josh thought, eyes scanning over the blank page before him. He could think of so many things he wanted to say to Tyler freaking Joseph. So… so many things.

Josh started feeling something. The feeling gave him déjà vu and he had a brief flashback of the year before when he saw Tyler’s abandoned piece of music in the middle of the hallway.

He still didn’t know what the feeling was.

He didn’t want to.

But whatever it was he was feeling, it gave him ideas on what to write, so he just let his brain do all the work guiding his hand as he began scrawling his messy handwriting over the papers.

“There.” Josh finished, putting his pen down and pushing the notes towards his friends. Kyle and Marcus each took two and then switched so they could read the other two.

“Oh man,” Marcus choked out, having to clap his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing too loud so their teacher wouldn’t notice.

“Holy shit this is going to be perfect! I knew you were the write guy for this,” he continued a little quieter, patting Josh on the shoulder. Kyle agreed, almost snorting as he read one of the notes.

“Here, this is what the last one has to say,” Marcus whispered, leaning over by Josh’s ear. Josh’s brows furrowed.

“Wait what do you guys-"

“Come on just write it, you’ll see,” Kyle instead, pushing one of the blank papers towards Josh. Josh wrote what he was told to, but he could feel his stomach tying in a knot as he did so.

 

* * *

 

Tyler found the first note when he went to his locker before lunch on Monday. It was on top of his history textbook on the top shelf (he never locked his locker, who has time to fiddle with a combination when you’re constantly late to class?). He didn’t even realize it was a note at first, just thought maybe he forgot about some discarded piece of homework and threw it in his locker hastily last time he was at his locker. But he couldn’t remember what it possibly could have been, so he picked it up and unfolded it with careful fingers.

_tyler,_

  
_i’m too nervous to talk to you in person, but i just had to tell you i think you’re really cute_ ♡

_-xxxx_

Tyler stared at the slip of paper with blank eyes. This had to have been a joke, no one had ever even mildly shown interest in him like this. The handwriting looked like it had to have belonged to a boy, it was very sloppy and just didn’t have the stereotypical rounded curvy letters most girls wrote with. The only logical explanation he could think of was that it was a joke.

He quickly scanned his surroundings with nervous eyes. He was currently alone in the hallway, no indicator of who could have possibly left it. He crumpled the paper up into the tiniest ball he could and threw it back into his locker.

Someone was just messing around with him.

The the next day there was another note, this time it was already in his locker when he got to school in the morning.

_i heard you sing at the choir concert a few weeks ago and your solo was the best part of the whole performance. your voice sounds like a thousand angels. i hope i can hear you sing more in the future._

_-xxxx_

Tyler took in a sharp breath. He’d gotten plenty of compliments on his singing before, but nothing quite like that before. He didn’t even realize he was smiling to himself until he reached his hand up to touch his own lips, blushing, chuckling, and shaking his head.

His mind was wracking trying to think of who could possibly be leaving him such sweet notes, but after a moment he just sighed and shook his head once again. He folded the note back up this time instead of crumpling it, gently tossing it on one of the shelves in his locker.

He kept reminding himself that this was probably just some dumb prank.

Th next day when there was yet another note, and Tyler was having even more trouble convincing himself this was just a prank. Whoever was writing them, sounded very sincere.

_you looked at me in class the other day, i hope you didn’t realize i was already staring at you. i can’t help it, your eyes are just so kind and inviting. i could stare at them for hours and just let myself get lost within them._

_-xxxx_

For some reason, Tyler was moved. Whoever was writing these notes was just so… Genuine? Poetic? Maybe poetic was the word Tyler was looking for. He couldn’t really explain it, just something about their heartfelt words got him all warm inside.

By Thursday he was expecting a note, and was slightly disappointed when the first few times during the day he visited his locker there wasn’t one. By the end of the school day he was almost scared to open his locker, as he knew probably would have been let down if there wasn’t a piece of scarp paper neatly folded up and waiting for him. 

Thankfully there was one and he eagerly opened it and read it, huge smile washing over his face.

_4th period has officially become my favorite of the whole day, because i can spend the whole time staring at you like an idiot. every time you smile it lights up the entire room. i hope i get to see that smile more often, it suits you well._

_-xxxx_

Tyler now had that brilliant smile described in the note plastered across his face as he read it, holding the paper to his chest for a moment once he was finished. He just really wished the anonymous note writer would give him some sort of hint, something, anything. He just couldn’t bare not knowing who was writing him such sweet things, brightening up his days for the entire week and making him feel happier than he had in a long time.

Friday finally rolled around, and Tyler knew his day was off to a great start when a note was waiting for him in his locker the moment he got to school.

_tyler,_

_i think i’m finally ready to tell you who i am. i’ve never been more nervous in my entire life, just writing this is getting me anxious! just stay by your locker at the end of the day today, i’ll come by and say hello._

_-xxxx_

Tyler’s heart was soaring, he felt like he was on top of the world. He couldn’t believe today he was finally going to find out who this wonderfully charming person was.

Every minute that passed every period felt like hours, and Tyler found himself constantly checking the clock and counting down the hours, minutes and seconds to the final bell.

Tyler practically flew out of his last period class when the bell rang and he felt like he was floating as he got to his locker. 

He tried to calm himself, he couldn’t let himself seem so anxious and giddy. This other person had to have been just as nervous if for an entire week they couldn’t even face Tyler and could only communicate through notes.

Two minutes went by. Tyler had all his things and his bag was packed. He leaned against his locker and eagerly scanned the hallway, but no one approached.

Five minutes went by. Less and less students were walking through the hall by the second. Everyone was either filing out of the building or going off with friends to after school activities.

Eight minutes went by. Tyler could feel his palms were sweating like they did when he felt panicky. He wiped them on his jeans, sliding down against the locker to sit on the floor.

Twelve minutes went by. There were no more students left in the halls. Tyler’s eyes were glued to the phone in his lap. He refused to give up hope yet.

Eighteen minutes went by. Tyler heard foot steps coming around the corner. His head perked up immediately, small smiling playing on his lips, but the smile quickly dissipated. 

Josh, Marcus, and Kyle approached.

Tyler stood up and turned so his back was to the boys, fiddling with his phone so he looked occupied.

“Oh Tyler, your voice sounds like a thousand angels,” Marcus mocked, going around to get in Tyler’s face, leaning against the lockers.

Tyler froze with fear, he could feel bile rising in his throat.

“Your smile just lights up the entire room! I could spend my entire life staring at it,” Kyle said in the same tone as Marcus, going and shoving one of Tyler’s shoulders. They were both laughing like hyenas, getting some sort of sick joy out of the broken expression on Tyler’s face.

Josh stood back at the other side of the hallway, nauseous as he watched the scene before him.

“What a loser! The fag actually stayed here and waited, he thought someone would come!” Kyle was hysterically laughing, having to lean against Marcus to support himself.

Tyler thought he was going to be sick, just vomit right there in the middle of the hallway. One of his hands had to reach up and pull at the collar of his shirt. It was too tight, he was choking, there wasn’t any air, he couldn’t breathe.

Tyler pushed past the two bullies and stormed down the hall and towards the exit as fast as he could, tears welling in his eyes as he blew past Josh.

Josh had to look away as Tyler ran by. His chest hurt and he didn’t know why.

“Oh man, this was even better than I thought it was going to be,” Marcus continued, the two still crying with laughter. They went over by Josh and gave him a few playful shoves and high fives, thanking him for the quality of the notes that helped the whole evil prank work in the first place.

Josh tried to play it off like he was in on the whole joke and it was great, trying to laugh with them as they went down the hall towards their own lockers. But something didn’t feel right. His stomach was in such a tight not he thought it was going to rupture.

 

Tyler didn’t break down just yet, a few silent tears streaming down his cheeks as he walked home.

The first thing he did when he walked through the front door was go to the bathroom, and throw up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry if this sucks i had this idea and rly wanted to use it but im not sure it was written well enough oh well
> 
> find me on tumblr at lovejoshduns!!


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